Must be Jelly, Jam Doesn't Wiggle Like That
Indications that it might be time to change my slovenly ways and go on a diet:
1. My underwear are too small. Yes, 16 months post-partem and I'm flying free because my cheeks are so damn wide.
2. I devoured almost an entire key lime pie between last night and this morning. And I have not even a smidgen of guilt over it.
3. Along with that pie I have been steadily snacking on store bought cookie dough all morning.
4. I haven't seen my running shoes in almost two months, and I don't even care.
5. I am still in those J. Lo knock off sweat pants that I was in before the holidays. And if we're being brutally honest...I have been wearing them almost every day since Devon was born.
5. I am starting to get plagued by dreams of cellulite on my thighs. The cellulite is shaped like little hungry sea anemones crying out for more food.
6. I sometimes think about trying to get to a yoga class, but the sheer effort of peeling Devon off of my hip, kicking Cassidy off of my leg and actually getting to the car is just too damn much.
7. Loren has started to ask me when I am going to be back to my normal shape.
8. I have an entire wardrobe of pants with snaps and zippers that I have moved to the storage unit.
9. I have stopped looking at the Victoria's Secret catalog because I have a suspicion I don't look like those girls. (Not that I ever did, but I was somehow able to have some sort of disillusionment before.)
10. People have stopped saying, "Wow, you really dropped the weight after Devon was born. You look great! How did you do it?"
I still have not made my New Year's list. But just as soon as I do....
1. My underwear are too small. Yes, 16 months post-partem and I'm flying free because my cheeks are so damn wide.
2. I devoured almost an entire key lime pie between last night and this morning. And I have not even a smidgen of guilt over it.
3. Along with that pie I have been steadily snacking on store bought cookie dough all morning.
4. I haven't seen my running shoes in almost two months, and I don't even care.
5. I am still in those J. Lo knock off sweat pants that I was in before the holidays. And if we're being brutally honest...I have been wearing them almost every day since Devon was born.
5. I am starting to get plagued by dreams of cellulite on my thighs. The cellulite is shaped like little hungry sea anemones crying out for more food.
6. I sometimes think about trying to get to a yoga class, but the sheer effort of peeling Devon off of my hip, kicking Cassidy off of my leg and actually getting to the car is just too damn much.
7. Loren has started to ask me when I am going to be back to my normal shape.
8. I have an entire wardrobe of pants with snaps and zippers that I have moved to the storage unit.
9. I have stopped looking at the Victoria's Secret catalog because I have a suspicion I don't look like those girls. (Not that I ever did, but I was somehow able to have some sort of disillusionment before.)
10. People have stopped saying, "Wow, you really dropped the weight after Devon was born. You look great! How did you do it?"
I still have not made my New Year's list. But just as soon as I do....
posted by Caloden at 11:22 AM
3 Comments:
All this post did was make me hungry. And you are *still* thinner than I am and all I do is run my ass off every day.
Or try. Nope, I just checked. It's still there.
You really make me laugh and thank you for the comment on my blog...
Minerva
Ok, there must be something in the water because that was like a rewind of my life! Except I only have the girl. I guess I should consider myself lucky..haha
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